I have a lot of dreams.
I like dreams.
I love dreams.
I fear dreams.
I dread.......
Dreams, how I always define, are half a part of our life. Every dream is a piece of puzzle.
Writing down all the dreams, that is another world, blurred, untouchable, sometimes even dangerous, fearful, or, haunting.
Good dreams can be beautiful and charming, while bad dreams can be horrify and overwhelming. Or in addition, good dreams can turn bad, as well bad dreams can be set free. Furthermore, you can not always tell the differences, in other words, it can satisfy you but harm you at the same time.
In the future, I will record some dreams happened in the past or happen at that moment.
Now I am going to tell a dream happened last week, which really effect my sleeping quality few days afterward. This is a dream about death. And there will be few more record about this specific kind of dream in the future.
Usually, when I go to sleep, I cover my nose with the duvet for a while due to my nose-stocked problem. Then after it's solved, I uncover my nose before I go into sleep. But, things not always go well, on that night, I was too tired to keep myself awake before that action.
I felt into sleep. In the dream, I was dying, because I couldn't breath, alone in a completely white space. Then things weired happened. I started to recall my life from the beginning to now, the end. All my memory pass in front of my eyes just like a film, only without a box of popcorn in my hand. The same as lots of people describe after they come back alive, I read my life again, with a very depressed emotion, for the reason that this was going to be the last movie in my life, and it's a tragedy. Under such painful feeling, I struggle to get out by moving my body, because I can sense a little bit that this was just a dream, although had the risk becoming the truth.
People always say "Hope this is just a dream." when disaster come into their lives. I don't do this because I knew the truth is the truth, obviously and doubtlessly, but in that dream, I yelled mournfully "Hope this is just a dream".
But I couldn't, I couldn't move at all. I was dying, even when I think about it now, I am still not sure of whether that feeling of death happened only in the dream or not, though it might related to what happened in the real world. I was shouting "I don't want to die now, I still want to do many things, fulfill many dreams, love many people."
At the end of my life, the film, finally, my hands moved, uncovering my nose and my mouth, gasping.
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2 comments:
Dear Jackson,
Sometimes I feel the same as you. I can not move my hand, my body. I can not talk or do what I really want. This happened many times in the dreams, even if the dream is bad or good too. I don't like this, but this means we are dreaming.
Dear Szalome
I agree with you about we can't move in the dream because this is what dreams meant to be. But, here you go : What happened to me, was not only a dream. It was something happened in reality effect our dream - illusion. For instance, sometimes you dreams of getting drawn for the reason that you feel want to pee, or you dream about food when you stomach is empty. Therefore, what happened to me was real(can't breath), and somehow exaggerated in the dream. Just think about this, if I didn't have this dream and wake up at the end, what could happen? God save me through this dream, and at the same time remind me to cherish my life for it's a "No Return". I believed so and I think God do things with good will, always. He don't give us more than we can afford. Wish you have more nice dreams than nightmares.
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